I'm the lyrical gangsta

1. This Christina Aguilera lyric from the otherwise-brilliant "Ain't No Other Man" was sent via courier from the Department of the Office of Redundancy Department:

"You got what I want, boy
And I want it."

Likely rejected lyrics from other X-Tina songs include "I'm a genie in a bottle/That's right, a genie" and "I turn to you/You are the person to whom I turn."

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2. With books out there like "Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy," there's obviously a market for misheard lyrics. One of my own is for Elvis Costello's "Alison." Instead of hearing...

"I'm not going to get too sentimental
Like those other sticky valentines"

...I heard:

"I'm not going to get too sentimental
Like those other sycophalentines (sic)."

I thought Elvis Costello was brilliant not only for an enduring classic, but also for making up a word that combines "sycophant" and "valentines." But because of my inability to decipher, I actually was the one to invent a word to describe a parasitic lover. Huzzah!

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3. For those of you who appreciate all things "So I Married An Axe Murderer," I just wanted to offer a factoid involving The Proclaimers' "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)."

If you're like me, you've wondered for more than a decade what the heck those bespectacled guys were talking about when they sang:

"And if I haver, yeah, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you"

To haver is to "talk foolishly; to chatter." May I offer a synonym? Varsity Basketweaving.