More fun than any Chia Pet

Still looking for a last-minute holiday gift? Vintage "SNL" has a suggestion.



Makes a great gift! Four quick thoughts:

1. Watch it again, listening only to the background music. How great is that?!

2. Since I first saw this sketch in 1990, I've always loved how Mike Myers totally hams it up with only four words with which to work. I also remember the first "SNL" skit that my siblings and I took notice of this Myers fellow: "Ten Beatles Classics You Kind of Know the Words to." In that one, he does a great air-bass-guitar riff for "Get Back."

3. More than 16 years later, "Happy Fun Ball" is surprisingly timely with references to a war in Iraq (albeit Desert Storm) as well as a list of medical disclaimers about product use -- an ironic predecessor to today's commercials advertising prescription medication. I picture one of the comedy writers back then saying, "Hey, let's have one of the potential side effects be 'an erection lasting four or more hours!'", only to be shot down by another with, "Nah, that's too over the top. Who'd believe that?"

4. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

The price of laughter

Reminded of an Elephant Larry gameshow skit as I write this, it's time to play, "How! Much! Would! You! Pay! To Laugh?!" All you have to do is think about how much you would pay for these gateways to hilarity:

1. Two "Saturday Night Live" tickets on eBay, with the entire bid amount benefitting Hurricane Katrina victims

2. The Complete Monty Python: The 16-Ton Megaset DVD collection

Before revealing the actual costs, I will offer my personal answers:

If my friend wanted to sell me SNL tickets that he/she secured for free (and, really, that'd just be rude and I'd question his/her friendship), I'd probably pay $150 for two stubs, assuming the quality of this season matches its previous. (During the Myers-Hartman-Farley-Spade-Sandler era, I'd have paid $200.) Why those prices? I liken these tickets to those for one of my favorite all-time bands or artists: I'd pay between $75 and $100 for one ticket to see 90 minutes of a favorite band I've never seen perform. So, I'd consider the current SNL product to be on the lower end of that scale. For the eBay bid, I'd have gone no higher than $200.

As for the Monty Python DVD, I watched almost all the episodes about 1 million times as a middle- and high-schooler and, honestly, I'm kind of burnt out on them. Still, I'd probably appreciate the jokes more now than I did as a teenager. I'm hoping the price comes down to about $100.

Okay, think about your answers.

Think hard now.

Think some more.

Keep thinking.

Ready?

Okay, go ahead and check out these links for proof:

1. Winning eBay bid for two free-but-nearly-impossible-to-acquire SNL tix: $2,076.00 (link courtesy of The Apiary).

2. Monty Python DVD collection list price: 199.99 (Borders price as of Sept. 29: $179.99).

*Incidentally, this is my 100th Varsity Basketweaving post! Woohoo!*

My SNL Dream Cast

Okay, this is an edited reprint from one of my recent e-mails, but it's definitely worthy of a VB post.

One of my favorite columnists is Bill "Sports Guy" Simmons, despite his love for all teams Boston (except BC, because he's a Holy Cross alum) and hatred of most things New York -- especially my beloved Yankees. He's a brilliant humorist who knows what he's talking about when it comes to pop culture (although his taste in music is questionable).

Back in 2001, he was asked the following question by a reader:
It's just a matter of time before The Sports Guy gets asked to host SNL. Who do you select as the musical guest, and which 12 cast members (from any era) do you have on your show?

Sports Guy opted to revive dead alums for his show, so -- inspired to create my own version of the same list -- I afforded the same opportunity to myself and my friends. I also extended the cast list to 14 cast members, because that's the number of cast members featured for 2004-05.

Without further ado, here's my list in alphabetical order and a few apologies to some who didn't make the cut:

Dan Aykroyd - Set the standard for being the SNL straight man. Co-wrote my favorite movie. Bass-o-matic!
John Belushi - Blues Brothers, Samurai, everyman. Genius.
Jimmy Fallon - Unlike most SNL purists, I loved when he cracked himself up. Nomahhh.
Chris Farley - Superfansss. Matt Foley. Gap girl. I'm Chillin'. You can't help but root for him.
Will Ferrell - 21st-century Aykroyd. No one worked harder for a laugh. Always up for more cowbell.
Tina Fey - Brilliant writer; fantastic delivery; mysterious scar. Hot. Favorite Weekend Update anchor.
Phil Hartman - The chameleon. Sinatra Group. Clinton. Ed McMahon. No one delivered a line better.
Eddie Murphy - Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood. Buh-weat. HOT TUB! The best years of his career.
Bill Murray - My non-negotiable #1 pick. Played my favorite all-time movie character. Cracks me up. Surprisingly subtle.
Mike Myers - Best original characters: Wayne, Dieter, Linda Richman. Astounding attention to detail.
Amy Poehler - Literally throws herself into almost every role. Background in "alternative" comedy (UCB). BC alum. Hottest SNL woman ever.
Chris Rock - Best work happened after show (my favorite stand-up) but still funnier than most SNLers.
Maya Rudolph - Vastly underrated; possibly the funniest SNL woman of all time.
Adam Sandler - Annoying as he is now, hilarious work on Weekend Update and as Cabin Boy.

Musical guest: The Police.

****

Odd man out: David Spade was the last one I cut. Wanted to keep him in there because no one was gutsier than he in terms of busting chops and cutting people down. But he was not terribly versatile, so that wound up being the deciding factor.

Other painful cuts:
Horatio Sanz (Farley and Belushi are funnier big men, but Gobi and the Telemundo host kill me.)

Rachel Dratch and Molly Shannon (Versatile, memorable and hysterical. I find the other three women just that much funnier.)

Overrated:
Chevy Chase. Funny, but not THAT funny. Even then. His movies through the mid-80's were better.

(Gasp!) Gilda Radner. Definitely funny, but I laugh more at Rudolph and Poehler.