Belt Bling

It's not often you see the hip-hop and geek communities unite, but they seem to have found common ground with upgrading their bourgeois metal buckles with tricked-out scrolling LED messages.

My scary admission du jour: I think I want one.

While I acknowledge this as a passing fad and admit I would not know when or where the heck I could actually pull off wearing one of these things, I'm strangely tempted to get one for the sake of irony and a couple of cheap laughs. Because, love them or hate them, they're undoubtedly a conversation starter.

CUTE GIRL: "Hey, your belt's got scrolling messages."
ME: "Yup."
CUTE GIRL: "Okay. Bye."

So while I'd be loathe to display "Chris," "Buckle up" or "Nothing to see here" on said belt, there are some messages I'd consider displaying on an icy-cool fresh belt buckle:

"BELT"

"MILDLY SUGGESTIVE"

"YANKEES 5, BLUE JAYS 2 ... ROYALS 4, RED SOX 3 ... "

"MY PANTS ARE CHEAPER THAN THIS BUCKLE"

"DOW UP 423.23"

"TODAY'S LUNCH SPECIALS: CHICKEN FRANCAISE, SPAGHETTI IN HEARTY MEAT SAUCE"

"LOADING... LOADING... LOADING... LOADING... "

"CNN IS REPORTING THAT YOU ROCK"

"EXIT 9A CLOSED. FOLLOW DETOUR TO NEAREST BARSTOOL."

"NOW SERVING #32"

"NOTHING SAYS SUBTLE LIKE A GLOWING GROIN"

"BOOSTING YOUR READING COMPREHENSION"

"ERROR 404"

"I FEAR HEALTHY SOCIAL INTERACTIONS"