I love Paolo Nutini's song "New Shoes" -- so much so that it's my next solo for Unsung Heroes -- but I don't think I've seen a more literal representation of a song's lyrics in a music video:
Granted, this is the UK version of the video. The American version is slicker and more sophisticated. That said, I'm not sure which I like better.
Amazingly, my favorite columnist -- ESPN writer Bill "Sports Guy" Simmons -- hates almost every team I like (Yankees, Giants, Boston College) and loves most teams I hate (Red Sox et al).
So keep that in mind while I explain why I'm peeved at something that might not even be his decision.
Last week, Simmons spent 2,843 words on a column that not only talked about the Patriots' quest for perfection but also predicted a 42-17 New England victory over the two-touchdown underdog Giants. Today was the all-too-sweet and all-too-short follow-up column in which Simmons had to eat, ahem, "crow" due to New York's stunning 17-14 victory, possibly the greatest upset in sport since the Miracle on Ice in 1980.
Interestingly, while most ESPN writers subject themselves to message board comments from the public, the ability to comment on these Simmons columns is disabled -- or at the very least, not in its usual placement next to the "e-mail (friends)" and "print" links at the top of the article. His colleague, poor Gene Wojciechowski, made the mistake of writing a piece listing 15 reasons the Patriots would win. And because his column allows for comments at the top of the page, his comments section is overflowing with fun words from exuberant Giants fans.
I'm not sure if this next fact helps or hurts Simmons' case, his other recent columns don't allow readers to post comments either. Perhaps this isn't Simmons' decision, but I have to wonder if that link would have suddenly appeared if the Pats were coronated in obnoxious fashion.
So, while I can't post my comments on ESPN's page, allow me to do so here while I enjoy the greatest upset in NFL history. Consider it redemption for the Boston's ridiculous and unprecedented American League Championship Series comeback against the Yankees in 2004.
I won't even take cheap shots at Simmons himself. He's a fantastic columnist. But I will just state three facts:
Giants 17, Patriots 14.
The New York Giants are Super Bowl Champs.
The Patriots are not.
Ah, gotta love freedom of speech.
This is true art, courtesy of the brilliant Charlie Todd and the agents of Improv Everywhere:
Figuratively, of course. Don't sue.
With looped sounds of spray-paint cans in use and clucking tongues, Pharrell Williams' minimalist production for Snoop Dogg's "Drop It Like It's Hot" is innovative but always overshadowed by his inability to say the phrase "eligible bachelor." Instead, he opts for "el-jilb-ble bachelor."
Proof is at the 50-second mark of this video. (Note: Other lyrics, which are pronounced all too clearly, are not suitable for work.)
I picture Pharrell realizing the mistake and wanting to record another take, but Snoop cutting the studio session short so he could pick up where he left off with his knitting and Shakespeare anthology.
Why does this articulation -- and none of the other words that are moided in pop music -- crack me up four years after the song was released? Perhaps it's because it takes the time in between summer Olympiads for me to process benign rap lyrics.
(Photo: UPI)
They only stick out if they're really good or really bad.
I was reminded of this while flipping through the channels the other day. I stumbled upon a young man in fatigues being questioned by the lead characters on "Bones." The actor trudged through what should have been a snarling monologue with a humming monotone. Concluding with something to the effect of "Now if you'll excuse me," he delivered it with all the passion of an afternoon nap.
Returning to my original simile, I suppose it could be applied to any performance artist... or profession... or anything. Mediocrity is always ignored. So you probably won't remember this post.
The top headline on CNN's Web site right now reads "Black women voters face tough choices" and features photos of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.
Saying nothing of my feelings about either candidate, I do think it's a bit insulting to naturally assume black women are either voting for Obama because of race or Clinton because of gender. Although minorities and women traditionally favor Democrats, the assumption is still somewhat stereotypical.
It's not like I'll be voting for someone just because he's an Irish-Italian man.
Unless it's me. Then I'd vote for myself.
Photo: Getty Images.
Because there's no way I can continue to order a "mocha latte" without sounding like a pretentious tool. So I might as well look the part.
Loved the premiere episode of the final season of "The Wire." Particularly impressive, considering how I'd strangely never watched a previous season, despite every single person who's ever seen more than one show telling me I'm crazy.
As a reporter, I enjoy hearing authentic newsroom terminology in a TV series ("below the fold," "contrib," "reac" and "art," among others). I also love how the plots of The Law, The Street, The Hall, The Port, The School and The Newsroom intersect with one another. And watching a photocopier play the role of a polygraph machine has been my favorite TV moment in a very young 2008, but it should still be in my Top 10 by year's end. I'm curious to see how everything breaks down, in more ways than one, as the season unfolds.
Still miss "Deadwood," though. (Harumph.) I caught the always-brilliant Ian McShane in the last hour of "We Are Marshall" on one of those HBO channels and it just made me sad.
Well, that and the depressing nature of the film. That was not exactly cheery, either. Good flick, though. Matthew McConaughey is solid, David Strathairn is once again fantastic (possibly Hollywood's most underrated actor), and watching Kate Mara do anything tends to ease my pain.
Confused? I'm referring to this logo I finished today for anyone named Christine. It reads the same way upside down as it does right-side up:
You're welcome, Ms. Ebersole.
In searching my computer for a completely different set of graphics I created a few years ago, I rediscovered my set of name logos that look the same upside-down as they do right-side up. In the process, I found one draft of the name "Christine" that was left unfinished. So in a fit of creatitivity, I finished that one just after midnight. Creative spurts are unpredictable.
Here's the logo I had completed of my last name, which one ex-girlfriend once told me would be great for my future chain of restaurants:
I have enough problems with a microwave, so forget the restaurant idea. But I am proud of the logo, I must say.
I make no claim that these are the best 10 songs of the year. They are merely the ones I played most frequently on my iPod and on iTunes since the start of last year.
Since the bottom four songs have the same play count, the most recently played song gets the highest rating and the least recently played song is ranked lowest. Arbitrary rules rule!
Remember: I'm sharing my music, thus baring my soul, to the Internets. Be kind with your replies.
10. "Hands Held High" by Linkin Park (35 plays) -- With Chester Bennington taking a seat for most, if not all, of this track, Mike Shinoda's empassioned anti-war anthem unfolds over military drums and a church organ. "Amen," indeed.
9. "Stronger" by Kanye West (35 plays) -- I'm kind of surprised that this and not "Can't Tell Me Nothing" is the Kanye track that cracked my Top 10, but it's the more accessible of the two. Plus, I'll never look at a Klondike bar the same way again.
8. "What Goes Around...Comes Around" by Justin Timberlake (35 plays) -- At first I perceived this song as a mere sequel to "Cry Me A River." But it might just be the "Godfather: Part II" to "River." Casting a scorching Scarlett Jo in the video doesn't hurt the case, either.
7. "Lithium" by Evanescence (35 plays) -- "The Open Door" is somewhat of a disappointing sophomore album, but emotionally charged tracks like "Lithium" and the surprisingly soulful "Good Enough" are enough reason to pick it up. Or download it. Or whatever.
6. "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 (36 plays) -- I was as tired of "She Will Be Loved" as everyone else in America, but it's hard to resist this upbeat break-up song, well-placed expletives included.
5. "Say It Right" by Nelly Furtado (38 plays) -- No bridge, a bare-bones structure and a simple, repetitive melody. Few producers outside of Timbaland could have the ingenuity to pull this one off so brilliantly.
4. "You Don't Know How It Feels" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (39 plays) -- Remember, this list isn't confined to songs released recently. This lethargic, harmonica-infused track came out in 1994, but resonated with me in '07. I'm generally a happy person, but there's something about the way Petty preaches "You don't know how it feels/To be meeeee" that punches me in the gut.
3. "Give It To Me" by Timbaland f. Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake (45 plays) -- In what's basically a glossy, glorified dis record, Nelly, Tim and JT talk about their supremacy on the charts. A bold move considering the potential for it to bomb, but a rousing success because they walked the talk.
2. "Proximity" by Alex Nackman (47 plays) -- The elder son of one of my coworkers, Nackman laments about long-distance relationships in this track from his "Sunrise Falls" album. Featured in the background of both "The Hills" and "The Real World," its narrative style is enhanced by lush harmonies and a simple yet profound piano riff. And then there's the bridge, which still gives me chills.
1. "LoveStoned/I Think She Knows Interlude" by Justin Timberlake (48 plays) -- Long before this was released as a single, this was my favorite track off Timberlake's "FutureSex LoveSounds" album. I'd often catch myself singing the bass line and wondering what kind of drink comes in a yellow bottle. Then Timbaland had to go and make a great song better by changing its shape entirely with the "I Think She Knows Interlude." Wow.
Apparently, Timbaland and Justin Timberlake have more of an influence on my life than I realized. Is this a good thing? Discuss.
The original version of the old-timey PBS station identification for WGBH-Boston is scary enough to small children...
...but baaaad things happen to all ages when one slows down the so-called Flash of Doom:
I'm not positive, but I think that's the song Sarah Connor hears when she's dreaming about the apocalypse in "Terminator 2." Regardless, it's definitely the soundtrack to the apocalypse.
As creepy as that is, this slo-mo version might just line up with "Dark Side of the Moon." Either way, drugs are probably required to best appreciate its nuances.
Counting down the numbers that prefaced year-end Top 10 lists nationwide!
No one really cares about the 9th-best anything. It's like finishing 4th in the Olympics.
Slightly better or more recognizable than the 9th-best anything.
Even more like finishing 4th in the Olympics.
Always good for an ironic or lame joke of an entry.
The just-missed, honorable mention entry. Looking for No. 7? You won't find it on this list! Ha ha ha! (Groan.)
You know things get good once you get down to the Top 5 anything. You can pretty much ditch the rest of any list once you get to this point.
Same reason as No. 5, except, you know, Top 3.
Without a good introductory item to a list, no one's going to read the rest of it. So, in a way, No. 10 is as important as No. 1. In a not-really sort of way.
This is usually the spot reserved for the obvious choice of something, but listmakers feel obligated to drop it to No. 2 just to cause controversy and hype their list. Or in Letterman's case, because the CBS Orchestra is about to drown out laughs that ensue immediately after No. 1. See also: Any list that ranks the Rolling Stones over The Beatles; Hacky bloggers; This list.
I don't really believe this. But I have to follow the rule I just set for No. 1.
Quoth the Butthead: "They shouldn't give anyone a chance to suck."
I can't remember all the details of the context, but I do recall Butthead was -- big surprise -- annoyed at someone's suckitude in a music video.
Butthead's musings resulted in one of my favorite quotes of all time. And not in an ironic sense. In a totally legitimate one.
The moment had greater philosophical implications. In short: Sucking sucks. For you and everyone else. So don't do it.
Categorical imperative, my a**!
My junior-year college roommates and I had a quote board to which we'd add nuggets like these on a regular basis. Usually, it was reserved for things said by any one of us, but this one was so good, it had to make the board. It still resonates with me more than eight years later.
I think my favorite bass line of all time is the one that loops in Dr. Dre's "Let Me Ride."
Drippin' with funk while rollin' in my '64.
Or my '03. Either one.
1957 - Frank Sinatra releases "Jingle Bells." Enjoying this during my morning commute, I reminded myself of why Sinatra's voice is so amazing. While he's routinely commended for making melodies sound "effortless," there's also a legitimate sense that he's mailing songs like this one in. It's actually a surprisingly sweet track for a ubiquitous song, but I couldn't help but think of Phil Hartman on "Saturday Night Live," booting "Duets" costars out of the recording booth within seconds of their arrival just so he could get the album done.
1991 - Naughty By Nature releases "O.P.P." I've enjoyed this song for 16 years, but only this month did I realize that the three-letter title is a play on the very song it samples -- "ABC" by the Jackson 5. The initials even rhyme. And to think I just enjoyed the song for its lyrical creativity, including one of my favorite lines of all time: "Arm me with harmony."
2007 - Finger Eleven releases "Paralyzer." For a ditty that iTunes declared 2007's top rock song, I liked it much better the first time when it was called "Take Me Out" and performed by Franz Ferdinand.
