Top 10 Top 10 Numbers of 2007

Counting down the numbers that prefaced year-end Top 10 lists nationwide!

10. No one really cares about the 9th-best anything. It's like finishing 4th in the Olympics.

9. Slightly better or more recognizable than the 9th-best anything.

8. Even more like finishing 4th in the Olympics.

7. Always good for an ironic or lame joke of an entry.

6. The just-missed, honorable mention entry. Looking for No. 7? You won't find it on this list! Ha ha ha! (Groan.)

5. You know things get good once you get down to the Top 5 anything. You can pretty much ditch the rest of any list once you get to this point.

4. Same reason as No. 5, except, you know, Top 3.

3. Without a good introductory item to a list, no one's going to read the rest of it. So, in a way, No. 10 is as important as No. 1. In a not-really sort of way.

2. This is usually the spot reserved for the obvious choice of something, but listmakers feel obligated to drop it to No. 2 just to cause controversy and hype their list. Or in Letterman's case, because the CBS Orchestra is about to drown out laughs that ensue immediately after No. 1. See also: Any list that ranks the Rolling Stones over The Beatles; Hacky bloggers; This list.

1. I don't really believe this. But I have to follow the rule I just set for No. 1.

UPDATE: Apiary'd!
UPDATE: Best Week Ever'd!

UPDATE: One reader reminded me that Letterman once did a "Top Ten Numbers Of One To Ten." Although I, too, realized that point after posting this list, it warrants mentioning that Letterman's list merely lists the 10 numbers out of order without explanation (admittedly, that's funnier than what I wrote above). In my version, I make a legitimate attempt to justify the ranking of 10 numbers, which supplants the number 11 for number 7 and lists them in a different order. Cool? Cool.