My iPod's ancient

But, really, what's my incentive to get a new one? Every six months, Apple releases better, smaller and sleeker models with video capabilities and other party favors. I'd have wasted thousands of dollars at this point if I bought every upgrade.

So for now, I'll stick with my glorified Walkman. Even if the music, screen and backlight like to freeze while I'm listening to Destiny's Child's "Bootylicious." Not embarrassing at all.