Friday, January 26, 2007

2,700 UNC applicants find out they might not be as important as Michael Jordan, after all

Have you ever asked out a person, and that person said yes, then after you celebrated your upcoming date, the person told you, "Hey, let me think about it and get back to you in a month, mmkay?"

Of course not. That would be cruel to mess with someone's heart that way.

Enter the University of North Carolina, which e-mailed "Congratulations again on your admission to the University" to 2,700 prospective freshmen, then basically said, "Wait, do over!"

OK, public relations experts: Which of the following "solutions" do you propose?

1. Accept all of them and construct a giant, 1,350-unit dorm and name it the "University of North Carolina House of Possibly Unworthy Candidates Who Will Lower Our Barron's Ranking." In the process, annoy all sophomores, juniors, seniors, grad students, alumni, and Chapel Hill non-students -- all of whom would feel superior by comparison.

2. Accept some of them, ensuring that any of the accepted-then-rejected freshmen who go on to lead companies will never hire a UNC grad.

3. Accept none of them and, out of sheer embarrassment, fold the school to the delight of Dukies everywhere.

I'd go with option 1. But that's because I went to Boston College and would find this to be the funniest situation to watch from the outside.