Friday, July 21, 2006

How do you vote when your only options are 'He's a jerk' and 'You're a jerk'?

In the vein of last month's Unfair CNN Poll Question of the Day, I give you the Unfair ESPN Poll Question of the Month:

"Should Yankees fans boo Alex Rodriguez?"

With options "Yes" or "No," the useless Internet voter is faced with framing his/her response in one of the following ways:

1) Yes, Alex Rodriguez -- who plays very hard, has not been found to use performance-enhancing drugs, and is generally a nice guy -- deserves to be treated like dirt.

2) No, those heartless Yankees fans have no souls.

I, of course, being a useless Internet voter and heartless Yankee fan, selected "No," then apologized to the computer monitor for booing A-Rod. Then I realized I've never done that. (Although I was tempted last night, when he made an error that contributed to the Yankees' loss. But I was on a treadmill at the time, so even if I booed, only the guy next to me would have been upset. For a completely different reason.)

I'm guessing the following were rejected questions from the same pollster:

"Should Philadelphia Eagles fans boo Santa Claus?"
"Should Chicago White Sox fans body-slam a first-base coach?"
"Should Detroit Pistons fans throw beer on players, inciting a riot?"

I'm sure people in those cities would also love poll questions that insult their entire fan base.