Friday, March 03, 2006

Hats for bats. That's Allstate's stand.

I realize that this is now well documented, but I still love the fact that the same guy who played Pedro Cerrano in "Major League" went on to (convincingly!) portray the U.S. President on "24" and hock insurance as serious spokesman for Allstate.

Arguably, Dennis Haysbert is a bigger star these days than almost anyone in that 1989 movie -- still behind Charlie Sheen, but definitely getting more phone calls than Corbin Bernsen. He's probably between Wesley Snipes and Renee Russo at this point. The ultimate gauge? He's probably too famous to appear on "Hollywood Squares."

This would be like finding out that the guy who was Booger in "Revenge of the Nerds" went on to play Ray Charles' record producer in "Ray." Wait, that happened, too.

But back to Haysbert. I'm hoping for a new Allstate campaign that gets back to his acting roots. Maybe he can grow back that goatee, gain a few pounds, toss on an Indians uniform and hold a snake for a series of ads that would launch at the start of baseball season. Maybe he could pitch these sage words:

"Jesus: I like him very much, but he no help with curve ball. Or safe driving bonus."

Or better yet...

"I stuck up for you, Geico. You no help me now. I say f*** you, Geico. I do Allstate for myself."