Wednesday, June 22, 2005

My SNL Dream Cast

Okay, this is an edited reprint from one of my recent e-mails, but it's definitely worthy of a VB post.

One of my favorite columnists is Bill "Sports Guy" Simmons, despite his love for all teams Boston (except BC, because he's a Holy Cross alum) and hatred of most things New York -- especially my beloved Yankees. He's a brilliant humorist who knows what he's talking about when it comes to pop culture (although his taste in music is questionable).

Back in 2001, he was asked the following question by a reader:
It's just a matter of time before The Sports Guy gets asked to host SNL. Who do you select as the musical guest, and which 12 cast members (from any era) do you have on your show?

Sports Guy opted to revive dead alums for his show, so -- inspired to create my own version of the same list -- I afforded the same opportunity to myself and my friends. I also extended the cast list to 14 cast members, because that's the number of cast members featured for 2004-05.

Without further ado, here's my list in alphabetical order and a few apologies to some who didn't make the cut:

Dan Aykroyd - Set the standard for being the SNL straight man. Co-wrote my favorite movie. Bass-o-matic!
John Belushi - Blues Brothers, Samurai, everyman. Genius.
Jimmy Fallon - Unlike most SNL purists, I loved when he cracked himself up. Nomahhh.
Chris Farley - Superfansss. Matt Foley. Gap girl. I'm Chillin'. You can't help but root for him.
Will Ferrell - 21st-century Aykroyd. No one worked harder for a laugh. Always up for more cowbell.
Tina Fey - Brilliant writer; fantastic delivery; mysterious scar. Hot. Favorite Weekend Update anchor.
Phil Hartman - The chameleon. Sinatra Group. Clinton. Ed McMahon. No one delivered a line better.
Eddie Murphy - Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood. Buh-weat. HOT TUB! The best years of his career.
Bill Murray - My non-negotiable #1 pick. Played my favorite all-time movie character. Cracks me up. Surprisingly subtle.
Mike Myers - Best original characters: Wayne, Dieter, Linda Richman. Astounding attention to detail.
Amy Poehler - Literally throws herself into almost every role. Background in "alternative" comedy (UCB). BC alum. Hottest SNL woman ever.
Chris Rock - Best work happened after show (my favorite stand-up) but still funnier than most SNLers.
Maya Rudolph - Vastly underrated; possibly the funniest SNL woman of all time.
Adam Sandler - Annoying as he is now, hilarious work on Weekend Update and as Cabin Boy.

Musical guest: The Police.


Odd man out: David Spade was the last one I cut. Wanted to keep him in there because no one was gutsier than he in terms of busting chops and cutting people down. But he was not terribly versatile, so that wound up being the deciding factor.

Other painful cuts:
Horatio Sanz (Farley and Belushi are funnier big men, but Gobi and the Telemundo host kill me.)

Rachel Dratch and Molly Shannon (Versatile, memorable and hysterical. I find the other three women just that much funnier.)

Chevy Chase. Funny, but not THAT funny. Even then. His movies through the mid-80's were better.

(Gasp!) Gilda Radner. Definitely funny, but I laugh more at Rudolph and Poehler.


Rach said...

Call me insane but I LOVE Adam Sandler!

Chris S. said...

You're insane. But that has nothing to do with your Sandler admiration (Sandleration?).

Anonymous said...

Dude... that entry was soooooo long... I didn't even read it. That's how long it was... damn...

Y-town said...

that comment above from anonymous is actually from me, Youssef... so there you go... i'm not anonymous

aj said...

Ugh, Horatio Sanz? Really?

Chris Serico said...

Dude, I love Horatio Sanz. That guy cracks me up. I think it's because he's just so genuine in his delivery, regardless of character.