Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Bachelor's burden

It's no secret that being a single guy with an active social life costs money. But recent articles on MSN seem to indicate that it's far more important for bachelors to invest in expensive toys than for bachelorettes.

Let's compare the costs to achieve all 10 goals on these lists. The prices either accompanied the original articles or were the first ones I could find online:

1. A Top-Notch Coffee/Espresso Maker: $250 ($230 + $20 coffee grinder)
2. A Lamp in Your Bedroom: $99
3. Swiffer Sweeper + Swiffer Cloths + Swiffer Wet Cloths: $15.99 + $9.89 + $4.29
4. A Comfortable Couch: $400
5. Nice Underwear: $12 each x 7 (let's make it a week, shall we?) = $84
6. A Key-Ring That Can Fix, Cut, and Open Anything: $34.99
7. $150+ Jeans: Um... $150
8. $200+ Dress Shoes: Um... $200
9. 300-Thread-Count Cotton Sheet: $120
10. "The Joy of Cooking": $22.05
Total cost of upgrading bachelor status, according to MSN: $1,390.21

1. A fabulous photo of yourself: $0.50
2. A pretty pair of heels: $100
3. An Eminem CD: $9.99 on iTunes
4. A great pickup line…and a way to blow 'em off: Free
5. A six-pack of good bottled beer: $10
6. Bathroom reading: $5
7. A business card: Usually free
8. Earplugs: $6
9. A straight male friend on your speed-dial: Free
10. A condom: $1
Total cost of upgrading bachelorette status, according to MSN: $132.49

I'm not even going to go into why I find the earplugs suggestion insulting -- and I don't even snore.

The irony of all this is that I don't even MIND spending the money on a fun date. But a list featuring a 10-to-1 spending ratio not only hurts men's wallets but sets feminism back 60 years. Three of the bachelorette suggestions are usually free (Pick-up/rejection lines, business cards, and straight male friends on speed-dial), while five of the 10 bachelor suggestions are practically guaranteed to exceed $100.

I'm surprised No. 11 on these lists wasn't "a penthouse apartment" for bachelors and "toothpaste" for bachelorettes.


Rach said...

Call me June Cleaver ... with toothpaste in tow.

Chris S. said...

Ha. :)

I even would have been cool with two different lists -- one with expensive toys (the existing Guy list) and one that's something like, "10 hot things you can do for under $50." (the existing Girl list, minus the "pretty heels").

Rach said...

This is why they have mail order brides, I suppose. ;)