"If you weren't meant to be doing what you're doing, you wouldn't be doing it."
*Technically all true Yogiisms are unintentional, but because people actually make efforts to write Yogiisms (i.e. for Aflac commercials), I wanted to specify that mine was organic.
Sometimes parodies miss their mark. Other times, they're right on.
Right on.
(Via GorillaMask.)
Note to the general public: There's no excuse anymore not to have an answering machine. At this point, they're painfully easy to use and are practically common courtesy.
On this very topic, someone I know said, "I can understand if people are old...."
To which I replied, "You know, some people didn't always have indoor plumbing, and they learned to use that."
Both advances in technology eliminate waste.
- Two pop-culture geeks to join me in auditioning for VH1's "World Series of Pop Culture," assuming there is another season. My girlfriend is out because she's better suited for "World Series of Really Difficult Biology" or "World Series of Cuddling With Cute Animals."
- A soccer referee's packet that includes a red card, yellow card and little notebook thingie so I can call people out on their fouls in public places, long after the World Cup ceases to be relevant in this country. Or maybe just one of these shirts.
- A buffalo chicken sandwich. Mmm.
Here's an Entertainment Weekly reporter's take on the "American Idol" tour, with a bunch of names that took me a surprising amount of time to associate with a face. Lisa who? (Oh, right, she was good.) Bucky what? (Oh, right, he was... blonde.)
Ten things I could have told you before reading this review:
1. Elliott's the season's best overall singer, but better find some marketing fast.
2. Kellie's the worst overall singer -- and maybe not just this season's.
3. Bucky's marginally better than Kellie.
4. Mandisa went downhill fast after some ambiguous remarks, didn't she?
5. Taylor's got some albums and Fords to sell.
6. Ace is a sketchy cheeseball on stage? No way!
7. Right about now, Chris is saying, "Why the frig did I turn down Fuel?"
8. Katharine's absence is telling.
9. Unless she decides to become a jazz singer, forget Paris.
10. You know who's better than almost all these clowns? Season Two cast-off Lisa Leuschner. Cut before the Round of 12, the judges' producers' decision still boggles my mind.
Sports Guy has Ramblings. I have Stuff and Things. Again. And again.
- Network TV ratings have their Worst. Week. Ever. Seems odd considering all those great new shows they have on right now such as... um... uh.... See you in the fall, networks!
- It didn't bother me so much that Macy Gray was on Bravo Celebrity Poker Showdown; it was far more offensive to put her in the commercials for the series. On any level, who's tuning in to see her?
- U.S. Soccer dropped 11 spots in the international rankings, which seems somewhat unfair considering the fact that the U.S. put in the best performance against World Cup champion Italy with their tie in regulation. For those of you who would argue France was better, let me remind you that the U.S. played 9-against-10 for most of the second half of their Italy match and had two horse-apple red-card calls against them not involving head-butts to the xiphoid process. Speaking of that culprit...
- Via Sports Illustrated, the Associated Press reports that Zinedine Zidane could be stripped of his Golden Ball award for the best player at the World Cup for his violent conduct. You have to love FIFA for not knowing when journalists cast ballots for the World Cup MVP; they're definitely in panic mode for allowing an award to be given to a glorified WWE wrestler.
- Oh yeah, I drove home in the aftermath of a tornado on the "ride" home yesterday. Actually, it was less of a ride and more of a "sit and play with the satellite radio" couple of hours. No flying cows (or YouTube links to said "Twister" clip) to report, however.
- In one of his always-entertaining marathon chat sessions on ESPN.com, Sports Guy said he heard that Peter Gammons was "doing GREAT" and expected to make "a full recovery."
- Have you ever experienced the phenomenal I've dubbed backwaraoke, when the words on the karaoke screen read "Oooh, ohhh, ohhh" instead of the actual chorus lyrics, like, "I'm a genie in a bottle/You gotta rub me the right way"? Well, that happened repeatedly to my girlfriend a couple of weeks ago and we were dumbfounded. Also, I feel obligated to mention that my girlfriend was the one singing the Christina Aguilera song. I'm more of a Britney boy.
- I just realized about a month after watching those new Mac commercials that the guy representing PCs is basically a heavier version of Apple rival Bill Gates. It took me far less time to realize that these parodies are friggin' awesome.
- I still contend that LFO's "Summer Girls" is the worst song of all time, but my new nominee to jump to the top of that list is Calloway's "I Wanna Be Rich." Released about 20 years ago, it sounds like a soulless baritone recorded a rejected Paula Abdul track from "Forever Your Girl," but sang it without her "spirit" or "energy." And check out its Pulitzer-worthy lyrics:
Jaime Foxx and LL Cool J are playing nice again, MTV News reports.
This appears to be a nice gesture by Foxx, especially because dialogue between the two since they exchanged punches on the set of "Any Given Sunday" could have amounted to something like this:
Much has been made of Zinedine Zidane's vicious head-butt in the World Cup final en route to Italy's super-awesome victory. But as I learned through the Best Week Ever blog, Deadspin seems to have framed the story the best.
1. Rihanna's "S.O.S. (Rescue Me)" continues to be a great track with no fewer than three ways to interpret one of the Spelling Bee sections:
- Y-O-U are making this hard
- Why? Oh, you are making this hard
- Y-O-U-R (sic) making this hard
The grammar nerd in me hopes Rihanna opted for one of the first two. And the music fan in me wishes "Unfaithful" never was released.
2. I'm digging the new Wolfmother track, "Woman." I'm sure I'm not the first person who wants their lead singer to do an Ozzy cover, because his voice is to The Prince of Mother (Bleeping) Darkness as Jamiroquai's lead singer is to Stevie Wonder. (Congratulations to Jamiroquai, by the way, for being referenced for the first time since people stopped talking about the Napoleon Dynamite dance sequence.)
3. Although I hadn't listened to either version of the song in forever, I heard not only Nena's "99 Red Balloons" on the way to work Thursday, but also the original German version of "99 Luftbalons" on the way back. That's 198 bilingual spheres of awesome(ly bad?)!
4. I know Strong Bad covered this already, but Cascada's "Miracle" reminded me that every dance song since 1986 sounds exactly the same. With the forced rhyme schemes ("I need a miracle; I wanna be your girl"), thumping bass and machine-gun snares, and a synth that sounds like a screeching cat caught in a blender, "Miracle" might be the prototype for every dance track of the last two decades. And I'm embarrassed to say I like it. Ashamed, even.
5. Cheyenne Kimball seems like a very nice girl. And she's a pretty girl. And she appears to play basic guitar chords well. But, um, her voice is ... interesting. Let's just say Britney Spears is a veritable Charlotte Church compared to her.
6. How many Oscar-winners sing on an embarrassingly and instantly addictive new cut that repeats the phrase "Good Googly Moogly/That thang is juicy" an estimated 4,298 times? Well, yeah, Paul Newman*. But also Three 6 Mafia.
*Not really. But he can do no wrong.
Props to my friend Valentina for pointing out this New York Times article, which explores the creepy/awesome trend of... Google Trends.
This engine graphs the number of times comparative terms have been searched as far back as 2004, then pinpoints surges in the data, gives news-related reasons for peaks and valleys, and shows how trends differ in top cities.
Some interesting examples I tried out:
1. Yankees, Red Sox, Mets, Devil Rays
2. Beatles, Rolling Stones
3. Katharine McPhee, Taylor Hicks, Elliott Yamin, Chris Daughtry, Kellie Pickler (2006 only)
4. John Kerry, George Bush, Iraq
5. Simpsons, Family Guy, South Park, Futurama
6. Google Maps, Google News, Google Trends (2006 only)
Creepy/awesome!
Or as it's also known in America: The worst night of the year to be shot.
Update! OK, I guess I have to explain this one. If you're shot while fireworks are going off, people might be more likely to dismiss the violence because they might confuse the sound of the gunfire with pyrotechnics. The comment above read more like a riddle than a joke. My fault, not yours.
I know the Chicago Bulls sought an enforcer when they signed Ben Wallace to a $60 million deal, but it looks like they already had one in their (alleged) cop-punching mascot.
Also, what's more disturbing? The fact that a different Bulls mascot last year was sentenced to 18 months in jail on a drug charge? Or that said jailbird was only listed as "Da Bull" in the Sports Illustrated article and not by his/her real name?
I guess I had forgotten/never known that one of my characters in "The Silver Lining" gives new meaning to the phrase "guard dog," but the 1:40 mark of this promotional video seems to illustrate that point all too well.
I'm psyched that my first attempt at legitimate voice-over work is finally coming to fruition!
Bonus video commentary! At the 5:50 mark, wave to my friend Katie, who's not only seen at that point auditioning for a part, but also is one of the game's coordinators, co-designers and writers!
So, here's my blog. I don't know what to say!
Ranking somewhere between "Fantastic 4" and the original "Batman," "Superman Returns" was a solid B/B+ of a superhero flick with mixed results.
The script was mediocre; Bryan Singer's direction was excellent; some performances were outstanding (hooray for Parker Posey and Kevin Spacey); the first 20 minutes were dull; the action sequences were solid; the ending appeared rushed; the humor was well-executed; and the frizzy brunette locks on the usually scorching Kate Bosworth were her Kryptonite.
But mostly I was disappointed that Kumar didn't have more (any?) lines in the movie.
