Saturday, September 17, 2005

Winning streak

As Sports Illustrated reported this week, a Kentucky rock radio station is using a ploy likely inspired by Major League to motivate a college football team.

WKQQ-FM, "the station that puts a new meaning to winning streak" and boasts a busty on-air personality by the name of "Kitten," is offering the Kentucky Wildcats incentive in the form of good ol' fashioned nudity. Evidently, Kitten has agreed to peel off an article of clothing for every win the they peel off this season.

For most red-blooded heterosexual males, who temporarily abandon the "Is this really a good thing?" argument, this is a tremendous idea. However, I'm firmly in the camp of "This isn't a good idea" -- mostly because Kentucky sucks. You're telling me there's no gorgeous and kinda-sorta-desperate SoCal "personality," who wouldn't be willing to do the same thing for (last year's national champs) USC? Just think of the cross-promotional marketing scheme they could do with Trojan!

Although the Wildcats won Sept. 10 against pushover Idaho State, resulting in the tragic loss of Kitten's button-down shirt, they were defeated the previous week by No. 12 Louisville 31-24 and drubbed 38-14 tonight by unranked Indiana.

The good news: Kentucky has eight games remaining and, by the looks of the billboard, I doubt Kitten's wearing seven shirts. The bad news: Kentucky still sucks and must play at least three more ranked opponents -- No. 5 Tennessee, No. 6 Florida and No. 7 Georgia.

Since Kentucky is well established as a Red State, I'm obviously curious to see what happens if the Wildcats just happen to roll off eight straight victories. I'm guessing it'd be the equivalent of when teenagers play strip poker for the first time; it's all talk, then once the shoes come off, someone undoubtably bails or says, "Yeah, I'm gonna take my watch off now." And then a parent or program manager knocks on the door and everybody scrambles.

Still, I wish my second-favorite college football team luck in the next two months. Not since Varsity Blues has a blonde been this much of a motivator for a quarterback wearing a blue jersey.

Sept. 24 Update! Kentucky lost to Florida, 49-28. The only reason Kitten's breaking a sweat is because she's still wearing too many clothes for early fall.

Oct. 8 Update! After a bye week that had no stripping implications, Kentucky lost (yes, again) to South Carolina, 44-16. Kitten might have been a little nervous with a 10-10 halftime score, but let's face it, she might as well start putting clothes back ON at this point.

Oct. 22 Update! Yawn. UK loses again, this time to Ole Miss by a 13-7 score. And that Wildcats touchdown was scored with only 2:36 remaining. Unless Kitten changes her wager terms by removing an article of clothing for each UK point scored, she's going to be quite comfortable as fall changes to winter.


Kelleigh said...

Perhaps they're seven very tiny shirts.