Sunday, May 13, 2007

Spider-Man's at his most evil when he's depriving me of free Burger King num-nums

Yes, the black suit brings out the awful qualities in Spider-Man on the silver screen (and in the screenwriting, evidently), but the worst impact it has is on my chances of winning free food from Burger King this weekend.

BK has a promotion involving scratch-off tickets, forcing customers to choose either the web next to the red Spider-Man mask or the black Spider-Man mask. I've always had a problem with this premise, because winners should win based on merely buying the food (or in wussier fashion, claiming a free game ticket by pulling that boring no-purchase-necessary crap) and not because they happened to beat the 50/50 odds.

Understanding that, theoretically, I should beat those odds by picking one color across the board on the three tickets that came with my King-sized meal, I scratched off the black Spider-Man web all three times. I failed to win the Croissan'Wich, Whopper and fries that were concealed behind the three red Spider-Man webs.

I looked worse than Peter Parker blubbering when Mary Jane Watson dumped him in "Spidey 3."

Still, maybe I've got this all wrong. Perhaps the black Spider-Man is really the good one, serving as dietitian and saving me from perilous heart attacks down the road.