Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Maybe I'm just bitter I never made it past the New York City audition to be one of those "Reading Rainbow" book reviewers. But here's some sweet, sweet revenge that takes the form of a "music video," whose lyrics I still know verbatim some 20 years later:

I'll attempt to pick 10 sequential highlights from the infinite options:

1. Wow, where to start? OK, how about the skintight florescent green and pink outfits? Also, those girls don't have a lot of, um, coverage on the lower half. Thank you, Public Broadcasting!

2. At the 52-second mark, you'll see a random finger-pointing action, which makes no sense unless you remember the whole episode. If I recall correctly, earlier in the show, video director Sammy Dallas Bayes was looking for a way to pep up this sequence, so music director Steve Horelick agreed to add a spiffy drum riff to the score. So the finger-wagging was a cue to the viewer: "Hey, remember that part we added?" Yes, and that has made all the difference.

3. At the 1:13 mark, the waitress/dancer on the right makes a phenomenal one-handed grab of three falling paper plates. It would have been even more impressive if the plates weren't taped or glued together in some way, as closer inspection appears to reveal. But still, nice grab there, Alice!

4. At the 1:20 mark, is it just me, or does the chef look a lot like Clayton from "Benson"?

5. At the 1:55 mark, check out the last leg of the human-made fire engine. Just how exactly is the piggybacking woman contributing to said teamwork?

6. At the 2:02 mark, LeVar Burton's attempt to help with the ladder is weak at best, a nuisance at worst.

7. From the 2:22 to 2:46 marks, well... there are no words. Bonus points for a basketball backboard that looks like it was a fourth-grader's art project.

8. Some totally rad Van Halen-esque guitar licks from the 3:16 to 3:25 marks. It's seriously impressive. PBS seems to understand that even as an 8-year-old, I WANNA ROCK!

9. At the end, I love how all of the dancers get so excited. But what are they excited about, exactly? And yet, it's quite endearing.

10. LeVar gives us sage advice. LeVar is the greatest. I'm not joking.

UPDATE: Thanks to GorillaMask and Cracked for the awesome linkage action! That's what happens when we work together... as a team!

ANOTHER UPDATE: Thanks to the 6,000-plus(!) people who visited this blog post on Nov. 22! That's teamtastic.


Anonymous said...

Sweet, an invisible firetruck! I wanna ride on the back. That guy is lucky.

Anonymous said...

The seemingly random finger-pointing was obviously to get the waitresses attention and remind her that the establishment she works for has been desegregated. Otherwise she would have completely ignored him and focused all of her attention on Michael Richards.

Chris S. said...


mandei said...

amazing. your observation skills are very impressive. i never did notice the backboard was really just fingerpaints. i throughly enjoy your perspective.

Casie Anne said...

The dancers are excited about teeeamwork, duh.

Pakajaramee said...

After careful observation:
1. That's an awful lot of crotch for PBS.
2. You haven't seen basketball properly played until you've seen it done in Capezio jazz shoes and tube socks.
3. LeVar should NOT be doing the "white guy dance" after doing such a nice job in ROOTS.
4. If I am ever rescued from a fire, I just pray that the firefighters come into the house, stepping in unison like that. Otherwise, they should just let me burn.
5. Now I'm inspired. Would anyone like me on their team?

Anonymous said...

I love how at the end they form together and you're thinking they'll spell out team work but, em, no such luck

Anonymous said...

With moves like that it must have been a shoe-in for LeVar to land the role of Geordi on STTNG. Oh and by the way LeVar is holding the ladder so that the bottom doesn't slip out.

Abbi said...

Nobody is disturbed by the special treatment Levar gets by the diretor? He jumps in his arms, they linger, then after the director congratulates everyone he reaches back for Levar. Down with playing favorites! PS: I used to put a banana comb over my eyes to be Geordi La Forge. YESSSS!

Anonymous said...

What is that drink called? @ 1:00 min. mark

Anonymous said...

The oddest thing is that at the end of this " choreographed piece" when they set for the pyramid, all the letters are wrong. What kind of TEAM WORK is that?!

Chris Serico said...

I think the drink at the one-minute mark is called a dry-ice tea.

Chris Serico said...

Also, re: LeVar and the ladder sequence. I'm not questioning his stabilizing of the ladder after it's on the sill; but what's he doing to the rungs as the ladder approaches the window? That motion is about as useless as a yellow sharpie.

Eckstein's secret lover said...

You crack me up and scare me at the same time ... and I'm not sure wheter to aim that at you or that video! :)

SailorAlphaCentauri said...

This made me smile today, which I needed! Good gravy I forgot about this. It's terrible, but it reminds me of how much I love PBS.

Speaking of crotch-shots, the PBS station in Cleveland was doing its auction and one of the items was a book of nude Marilyn Monroe pictures, and the guy holding the book didn't realize that he had held it open on a spread of Marilyn in all her glory for a good two minutes. Thanks PBS!

Anyway, at least you got to audition for Reading Rainbow. I never knew how those kids got on the show.

Carmen said...

I am in stitches I am laughing at so hard right now. The original poster and all of you others making comments are making me cry I am laughing so hard. I absolutely LOVE the "Teamwork" video, and to be honest, people making fond fun of it just makes me like it more... that, and the porn-staches those two dudes have ;-)