Saturday, December 29, 2007

WGBH is here to frighten you clear out of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood

The original version of the old-timey PBS station identification for WGBH-Boston is scary enough to small children...

...but baaaad things happen to all ages when one slows down the so-called Flash of Doom:

I'm not positive, but I think that's the song Sarah Connor hears when she's dreaming about the apocalypse in "Terminator 2." Regardless, it's definitely the soundtrack to the apocalypse.

As creepy as that is, this slo-mo version might just line up with "Dark Side of the Moon." Either way, drugs are probably required to best appreciate its nuances.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Top 10 Top 10 Numbers of 2007

Counting down the numbers that prefaced year-end Top 10 lists nationwide!

10. No one really cares about the 9th-best anything. It's like finishing 4th in the Olympics.

9. Slightly better or more recognizable than the 9th-best anything.

8. Even more like finishing 4th in the Olympics.

7. Always good for an ironic or lame joke of an entry.

6. The just-missed, honorable mention entry. Looking for No. 7? You won't find it on this list! Ha ha ha! (Groan.)

5. You know things get good once you get down to the Top 5 anything. You can pretty much ditch the rest of any list once you get to this point.

Same reason as No. 5, except, you know, Top 3.

3. Without a good introductory item to a list, no one's going to read the rest of it. So, in a way, No. 10 is as important as No. 1. In a not-really sort of way.

2. This is usually the spot reserved for the obvious choice of something, but listmakers feel obligated to drop it to No. 2 just to cause controversy and hype their list. Or in Letterman's case, because the CBS Orchestra is about to drown out laughs that ensue immediately after No. 1. See also: Any list that ranks the Rolling Stones over The Beatles; Hacky bloggers; This list.

1. I don't really believe this. But I have to follow the rule I just set for No. 1.

UPDATE: Apiary'd!
Best Week Ever'd!

UPDATE: One reader reminded me that Letterman once did a "Top Ten Numbers Of One To Ten." Although I, too, realized that point after posting this list, it warrants mentioning that Letterman's list merely lists the 10 numbers out of order without explanation (admittedly, that's funnier than what I wrote above). In my version, I make a legitimate attempt to justify the ranking of 10 numbers, which supplants the number 11 for number 7 and lists them in a different order. Cool? Cool.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Philosophical profundities of 'Beavis and Butthead' summed up in a single quote

Quoth the Butthead: "They shouldn't give anyone a chance to suck."

I can't remember all the details of the context, but I do recall Butthead was -- big surprise -- annoyed at someone's suckitude in a music video.

Butthead's musings resulted in one of my favorite quotes of all time. And not in an ironic sense. In a totally legitimate one.

The moment had greater philosophical implications. In short: Sucking sucks. For you and everyone else. So don't do it.

Categorical imperative, my a**!

My junior-year college roommates and I had a quote board to which we'd add nuggets like these on a regular basis. Usually, it was reserved for things said by any one of us, but this one was so good, it had to make the board. It still resonates with me more than eight years later.

Follow the bouncing bass

I think my favorite bass line of all time is the one that loops in Dr. Dre's "Let Me Ride."

Drippin' with funk while rollin' in my '64.

Or my '03. Either one.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Thoughts on 3 songs spanning 50 years

1957 - Frank Sinatra releases "Jingle Bells." Enjoying this during my morning commute, I reminded myself of why Sinatra's voice is so amazing. While he's routinely commended for making melodies sound "effortless," there's also a legitimate sense that he's mailing songs like this one in. It's actually a surprisingly sweet track for a ubiquitous song, but I couldn't help but think of Phil Hartman on "Saturday Night Live," booting "Duets" costars out of the recording booth within seconds of their arrival just so he could get the album done.

1991 - Naughty By Nature releases "O.P.P." I've enjoyed this song for 16 years, but only this month did I realize that the three-letter title is a play on the very song it samples -- "ABC" by the Jackson 5. The initials even rhyme. And to think I just enjoyed the song for its lyrical creativity, including one of my favorite lines of all time: "Arm me with harmony."

2007 - Finger Eleven releases "Paralyzer." For a ditty that iTunes declared 2007's top rock song, I liked it much better the first time when it was called "Take Me Out" and performed by Franz Ferdinand.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The greatest move in the history of wheelbarrow races

Not that it's a long list, but thanks to GorillaMask's keen research skills, we definitely have a winner.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Something witty to say when the holiday season gets you down