Perhaps my greatest failure as an improv comedian was my inability to make out with other failed improv comedians.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Just call me Mr. Softee. More accurately, call the ice cream truck guy that. Most accurately, don't call anyone that, as it is a fake name.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
I just told a dancer to break legs, plural, at her next performance. It's at least twice the luck, maybe more, depending on how much pain she inflicts upon others.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
"Don't take this the wrong way" is much easier to accept when it involves traffic patterns, but both versions can crush you.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Even my sink is disappointed that I'm staying home tonight:
The handle is the single, perfect tear.
Hot dogs, cuisine of the world's most eligible bachelors. (Not necessarily by choice.)
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Erasing memories is hard, but erasing phone numbers is a start.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Everybody's got a hungry heart, but mine's clogged because it wants bacon.