Yearning and burning

Both Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" and Poison's "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" start with a deep breath, but only one ends with chlamydia.

Fun with the Twitter hashtag #failedwesterns

Here are some of my submissions for the #failedwesterns Twitter meme that trended last week. I noticed some of these were later Tweeted by some of the people I follow and respect on Twitter, so that was a pretty cool coincidence.

• Hi, Noon!
• 3:10 To Yo Mama
• Dances With Robert Wuhl
• Middle-Aged Guns
• Bronzerado
• Rio Bravo's Real Housewives of Deadwood
• Lonesome Dove, sponsored by Dove Moisturizing Cream
• The Assassination of Jessie Spano by the Coward Caffeine Pills
• The Assassination of Rick James by the Coward Cocaine
• City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold
• Sorry, We Can't Wire Cash To Your Mom*

*Whoops, that was for the hashtag #failedwesternunion

For someone who's never smoked pot (but has nothing against it), I had a lot of fun with this

Here are my submissions for the #stonerlit Twitter meme launched today by blog god Alex Blagg:

• Bong Quixote
• The Smugglers Karamazov
• For Whom The Joint Rolls
• Spliff Family Robinson
• The Blunt of Monte Cristo
• Doug Benson Crusoe
• Indifferent Expectations
• Baked Expectations
• Crime And Totally Unreasonable Punishment Under The Rockefeller Laws

Kim Ployable?

Sometimes I think Kim Possible grew up, fell on hard times, and settled for a job as Erin Esurance.